Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Desire and Gifting

Living at home can be difficult. Especially when you have a younger brother blossoming into a man. Welcome the teenage explosion. He's emotional, rebellious, arrogant, lazy, stubborn, messy, and experimental. He's my little brother and I love him. He's behind on subjects in school, caught smoking and with unmentionables. He's gullible, will just as quickly (and attempts to) dilute his senses with a myriad of substances. He's full of muffed brilliance... and before I say it, let me question it- what is brilliance? 


How valuable of an asset is potential, gifting, or brilliance? When you add all the pluses and minuses, the positives and negatives, and weigh the probabilities, potential comes out to a broken mirror. I know I'm rambling, it's most of what I say / think / do / write. But bear with me. 


There is:


Gifting and Desire


1 [ Gifting ] As with the given traits-

(that which makes you who you are)


Conscious gifting / brilliance

- prone to either utilizing or purposefully denying

Unconscious gifting / brilliance

- secretly aids success, or a forgotten waste

 and


2 [ Desire ] your own personality morphing and molding - 

(that which you make who you are)


Advantageous use of gifting

- what your momma told you to do

Self cultivated skills in areas gifting is absent or lacking

- you have strong desires


So in these two areas - that which you have been given [Gifting, we shall say 1] and that which you get [Desire we shall call 2]- 


Number 1 does not really play into EFFECT unless applied in Number 2. To lack fully in Number 2 (desire), you can consider Number 1 null, and it simply and only applies as a gray shading by which your form is colored. Therefore, a blundering fool! 


Looking at myself, I can see, yea, gifting, as does each and every person in a various way (that's the half that makes someone unique- that God swept down his hand and gave them each little person on earth a little sumpin' sumpin' special)- but really a lack of cultivated worthiness in number 2. 


So have this mentality amongst yourselves- forget Number 1 (gifting)- resist using it as a means of comfort or reason for contempt or laziness. Think only in terms of Number 2 (desire) and follow it heartily and with energetic curiosity. What number 1 can apply to in number 2 will happen naturally- that follows, and leave it be to be as it may. 


Therefore, once you can achieve a balance of the two - you being a person that you have made yourself from desire, and that you yourself are unique with the varying birthmark of tendency and brilliance, you can focus on making number 1 play more and more with cultivating number 2. Think of number 2 as a method to grow a garden (number 1) to it's full potential. or just a good enough. 


Will you be a better person? Not really. What is it that makes someone "better" anyways....? But you will have your signature on your own body. Not that of genes, the color of your hair, or the way you squint. You will have played the hand of God, and your back will straighten. 


you will know your limits and your soul, and in knowing yourself better - to exhaust yourself of the "mystery" of you (and those talents that you once used to regard highly of yourself), you will reach the road and realize it isn't that long- that is you are just a simple person- with pluses and minuses and not a great potential aurora. you will be simple and yet wise, quiet and yet loud, in that the truths that you find will play a more profound effect on what you do and how you think. 


So to number 1- don't leave it as a muddle: don't weave emotion to rank yourself, nurse yourself, appease yourself, muse yourself.... Seek to see things as they are. Have desires and blind yourself to noticing the given. Have independence in thought - an explosion of something entirely new and you.... and yes, rambling, again... :)


Know thyself. 





1 comment:

Kevin said...

Lily I am glad to have found your most current blog. Miss you. Keep writing.