ilc

it's kinda scary how my new meds look like the blue pills Sara Goldfarb took on requiem for a dream. 

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i can't stand to have anything around my neck, i really can't. i can't wear necklaces or anything

and i don't like touching my throat. 

yesterday a doctor was asking me questions to see if i had an eating disorder- i have some strange regurgitation issue- but the thing is, i can never have one- if it is bulimia related: i once tried to throw up, so that i knew what to do quickly if i consumed poison, etc

but i couldn't! i couldn't stand the feeling of touching the back of my throat. i'm a wuss. well, i read that there is a way to diminish your gag reflex. which would be cool. but i don't think i could handle such a maneuver.