Sound and Meaning

I don't like things because they are good. if so, my heart beats a resounding yes, and i want to repeat the words in a variety of ways aloud. but for most cases, i simply like words and words together because of the way they SOUND: 

here is one example of a simplex poem i wrote awhile back:

who hears the panther leap
quiet pads the softest feet
bare into the jungle night
and take me down, a triple feat:
blood, guts, and gore to eat

not much, but things like this i like oft saying, making up, and repeating (or trying to remember) to myself. 

My Coolant Tank, SOL, and what am i gonna do

I woke up this morning, late, from going to bed in the morning, early. I couldn't run, i could only run. to my car, but it was a little too cold for flip flops. [and i don't want to be a selfish thinker] so when i did try to do it, the holds were so small. i had to be a spider, with sticky little fingers, wrapping them around the tiny nobs that poked off the cold smooth rock. i liked the sandy parts, and i liked the cracks and grooves that i could slide my hand along. i liked to try the ones that were too hard for someone like me, and i like the part when you try to stick again after once again falling. i liked the fact that the top got easier as you got along, and how it was confusing, was i good, horrible, or just plain cheat? 

then along i traipsed to dr. williams, the shrink. and as i stepped into the elevator, it was with a busybody- she looked jewish, rushed and yes(!) shorter then me. i finally felt bigger. then it shot up, from 1st to 3rd, then 3rd to 6th. he seemed half awake, as usual. i think being a shrink is the easiest job: you let the awkward silence go long enough, until you ask another open-ended question, that is loosely related to the answer just spent. in a proper spacing of one hour, one only needs to formulate 3-6 simple questions, a comfortable armchair, and a hot cup of tea. what an entertaining afternoon!

but i drove onward, making parts of my face a blotchy red, from mary's handiwork, atypical in a ethnic/racial/occupational kind of way, and got stuff i didn't need

i pulled over at the VOB BMW bc my engine temp was wacked. yes, smoke. well the whole fucking pipe had broken off. coolant spewing out like poison juices. just like that. curses i know him

but yea, another 200 later i might just be okay. 

so i feel like this song. a broken thought to live in a city! by a busy road where death is made! yes!

shout out louds - please please please

[ i want to smell an old shirt] 

Long time ago

The times we had were so and so
It was the worst date of your life
So I called your home your so-called father was on the phone
he wasn't easy to ignore

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

But yesterday when i saw your eyes in a black haze
You didn't even know my name
So I walked on pretending that you still belong
but it will never be the same no more

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

It's like a picture of a loved one in disguise or
it's like finding something pretty in a jar of lies and
if you want just hide your eyes behind your hair
but you can't see me then you can't find me anywhere

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

Come back to me
Please please please
Please please please 

moving around

so i've been starting up biking to work, and running more oft.

but yesterday i mulled about, in a frequent manner that would make an old retrospectual gasp. but i do ( and i know i will [gasp and/or cry] too.

i looked out the window for a bit though, and pondered if i should run. then i wanted to run. it was beautiful outside. it took me another 4 hours to get my ass out there.

but it was good. near the end of the first 2 miles, i decided i would do the loop 4 x, which equates to a little over 6 miles. and i did, my pace paralleling 10:00 pr mile. it was amazing because this is the first time in my life that i have run that far nonstop.

i know i'm on a high these days, in consequently, a runner's high, but i'd like to train for a half-marathon. it makes me sad to know that i can only cross my fingers.

smak

am i making myself fond of what i have become so that in a better light i may refrain from shuddering?